Monday, April 30, 2012

Day 7. What is your dream job?

Day 7.
What is Your Dream Job?

Don't want to sound like my life is perfect or anything but my job is pretty close to a dream job for me.  I enjoy my work place and my coworkers and even my work schedule which is pretty flexible.  I don't usually work 40 hours a week so that is probably why I still love it.  People often ask me when they are in my chair if I will ever open my own salon, and my response is always the same "If I won the Lottery."

But I forget to play the Lottery half of the time so that probably won't be happening anytime soon.  I am happy not having too much responsibility and knowing that when we do decide to have kids, I will be able to cut back my hours and be there for them.  Really the most important job someone can have is being a mother, so that will be my first priority when that time comes.

I would probably like to do something for the community.  I always say it would be so neat if I could go get a PHD in Phycology and be a therapist/hairstylist.  I could give people licensed therapy sessions while doing their hair.  Also, it would be awesome if I just had money lying around and then I would do people's hair for free.  I love it so much I would do it for free! Insane, I know, but that is how much I enjoy making people feel good about themselves.

So there you go plain and simple, I guess I'm not a high achiever or very motivated to do something spectacular as a dream job, I just like making people happy and getting time to spend with my family and friends.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Day 6. The Hardest Thing I've ever had to Experience.

The Hardest Thing I've ever had to Experience

I had to think long and hard about this one.  I have actually had some pretty ruff experiences in my life.  But one that was really tough for me was when my grandmother passed away.

This experience was very hard for me because I was very close to my maw-maw.  She lived in Gastonia so I would see her at least once a week.  She was a very good maw-maw.  She was also my only grand parent alive for most of my life (the rest died by the time I turned 12.).  My mother was very young when she had me, so maw-maw would help us out and sometimes give us a place to live when we were in between houses.

My maw-maw was the center of the family on my dad's side.  We would always go over there on Christmas eve with a lot of family and she would cook the best meals.  Her house was big enough that other family members could come in town and have rooms to stay in.  Also when I was a teenager and would get in fights with my mom, she would let me stay with her for like a week till things would cool down at home.

She was not a perfect person but she loved us and was a big part of my life.  She was a tiny little thing but had a very strong character and you never wanted to get on her bad side, or be around when she was in one of her little "moods."

I was around 19 when she said she had lung cancer.  She smoked for most of her life and had lung issues for a while so it was actually not a shock when she did have it.  I almost thought she was making it up for a little while though because she lasted so long with not very much symptoms at all.  She was just so strong I thought she was invincible.

It wasn't until January 2007 when I was 21 that we knew it was getting worse when they called hospice in.  At the same time I was at a very busy point in my life.  I was working as a bank teller full time while in school at night full time and living on my own with friends.  I would still visit her but not as much as I used to. I regret that some, today but for some reason I thought she would out last what the doctors were telling us, I think I was probably just in denial and was trying not to think about it.

The passing away of my grandmother is part of the hard experience but it was the other stuff on top of that that really made my life hard at that time.  I was struggling with my own Faith and in between churches and deciding which route to go.  I was quit angry and hurt from my mother because she wanted to me to pay her rent while I was paying for my college out of my pocket so I really didn't want to give her money too, so I left.  I felt people were literally pulling me from all different directions too, "Oh, you shouldn't go to that church", or "You are just rebelling", or my personal favorite "Your are in a cult." (because I visited a smaller non-denominational church.)

I was pretty much feed up with EVERYTHING.  I just wanted to leave everything behind and move as far as I could away from it all.  And that's exactly what I did, I worked hard and got accepted to UNCWilmington and enrolled the summer of 07 (I couldn't wait for the fall semester to start.)

When I arrived at UNCW, I felt so liberated.  I moved there not really knowing a soul and it felt awesome!  I could stay out as long as I wanted or go to whatever church I want or not even go at all! For a while I don't think I even went and I even got a job at Hooters as a hostess (but only for 3 weeks).  Now most people would look at that and think I was rebelling or "backsliding" but it really wasn't none of that at all.  I was finding myself and pushing my boundaries.  The more I did push my boundaries the more I thought about God and actually the more I prayed.  I really felt God and he was there for me the whole time just patiently waiting for me.

Its really weird how God puts people in your life you wouldn't expect.  I had met a friend there and ended up actually hanging out with her roommate. The roommate started introducing me to more friends and before I knew it, I had wonderful friends who just so happened to be good Christian girls.  I wasn't even trying to find friends like that it just happened!   The Lord knew exactly what I needed at the right time because shortly afterward my maw-maw died and I was 250 miles away without my boyfriend and family to help me grieve.

My new college friends helped me in a very hard time in my life. Grieving is not a fun thing to do alone. I remember feeling so lonely so I would get up and go all puffy eyed and just go sit with my friends and just  hanging out with them really helped me get my mind off my maw-maw.  At this time I probably lost 20 lbs. because of all the grieving, stress, and the being apart from loved ones, but I made it through!  I found my Love with God to be that much stronger and even started going and helping a church in Wilmington.  It was a hard experience but I needed it to be the person I am today and for that I wouldn't change one thing about it!
Also excuse grammar, I am really tired!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

day 5. 5 things that make me happy!

5 Things that make me Happy!

This will be my happiest blog yet!! I am a happy person so this will be an easy one for me!  I have a lot of stuff that makes me happy from the simple things like listening to country music in the summer, to having a coffee break and enjoying my mornings (I love morning time!).  Sitting and enjoying me time and this blogging right now is pretty therapeutic for me.  So the following list are just a few of the things that make me smile and feel all warm inside! :)

1. My husband! Surprised right! But I have to put this guy at the top of my list.  I love him, and I really feel we have a marriage, the way marriage is suppose to be.  My husband loves me like he is called to love me. Like Christ loves the church.  One of Randall's sole missions in life is to make sure I'm happy.  If I'm feeling down and I call him, he will reassure me until I feel better again. He also worries so much about me that he doesn't eat good, when I'm having a bad day.  He helps out around the house and even is cooking meals a couple times a week so I can go to work out classes.  We connect on so many levels, we enjoy the little things in life like sitting on a porch and talking.   He is the kind of person I strive to be and he has made me a better person just being with him these past years.

2. My job.  I love my job! I have had a TON of different jobs and I never knew I could love a job like I love this one.  Part of the reason my job is so awesome are my coworkers.  There are 18 stylist at my salon (we are a Big salon!) and we all get along great!! I love these girls! They are so beautiful and we are all different in our personalities but we love and accept each other unconditionally. I can totally be my dork self around these ladies, and they love it!   I look up to my coworkers and respect them and learn a lot from them. Each one of these ppl are put in my life for a reason!  I guess you could say we are one BIG sorority. :)  That is one of the reasons I am moving closer so I can hang out with these girls more!

3.  My Clients.  Part of my job is getting to talk to different people and carry on a conversation with people you wouldn't usually have time to talk to outside of work.  I learn so much from people.  It's amazing how unique God makes each one of us in our own little ways.  The more people I meet the more I learn about God.  I love getting in conversations with people about where they come from and their backgrounds.  I try to learn from people.  I have a lot of clients who have touched my heart and when I leave work, I swear I have a permanent smile on my face because they have just put me in such a good mood!

4. My Church.  I go to Bethlehem Church in Gastonia and I have been going there for 2 years now.  I actually look forward to going to church (never thought I would say that when I was younger)!  I love going to a big church because I feel it is more focused on going and listening than going and socializing. My preacher is one of the most humble men I have ever met.  He is himself, and I love that.  He wears his normal kackis and sweaters and he tells people not to give him a title like pastor or preacher because if you wanna give him a title you can call him servant.  He is down to earth and tells a lot of actually really funny jokes while he is preaching.  He uses the whole Word but doesn't condemn you every Sunday about sin.  I pretty much know what sin is so I love that he gets down to the word and preaches about how you can benefit and learn from God.  I also love that my church is a church that goes outside the four walls.  We are all about helping the community and that is what I think it is ALL about.  From giving people free dental care, to Hope for Gaston,  feeding the homeless and adopting poverty stricken blocks so you can reach needs and build a relationship with people different from you.  That is what life is all about!
Some church friends at a very fun wedding at the beach!!

5.  Facebook and Twitter!  Sounds cheesy but I am so glad I have a network that I can talk to people from high school and other people from my past and I get to see how their lives are.  Sometimes on my days off this is the only social interaction I have time for (I know, sad right).  I get to see my cousins and other family members and actually find long lost cousins on there.   I love to watch people put funny things and also informational things on their newsfeed.  I really learn a lot from my facebook and twitter friends.  I don't get why some people act like they are too cool for facebook, I have no shame in having an account and creeping on everyone. ;) Maybe its because I'm pretty nosy but I love Facebook and Twitter!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

30 BLoGs in 30 DaYs Day 4. 10 things you would say to your 16 year old self

10 things you would say to your 16 year old self.

I don't think I would change anything that my life has become, my experiences in life make me who I am but just for the fun of it, here goes.

1. Quit being so lazy!! Get off your butt and clean your room and bathroom without your mom telling you to do so. She gets feed up with it and eventually kicks you out or makes you pay rent!

2. Learn to cook. Yea, even though you think you will go into movie making and have your own cooks, NONE of that comes true! All though you have an awesome job, you are not rich so learn to cook so that your first year of marriage isn't filled with burnt food!

3. Relax a lil. Your thinking of God as an angry God and keeping a list of all your wrongs is NOT true. Later on, when you get to college age and start questioning everything you know, its a GOOD thing. You discover what Grace is and how powerful it is and how you have been missing out on this wonderful blessing. You realize everyone you know that doesn't look like the "ideal southern culture Christian" isn't going to hell. You learn God makes everyone soo different and shows himself differently to everyone. So Relax and be yourself.

4. While we are on this Jesus kick, throw away that god-awful shirt you made yourself with the tassels and the big words "Jesus Freak" on it. I get the meaning but its just not cute or fashionable. And try not to alienate yourself from your peers at school. They are good people too, they are just trying to find themselves and plus you will be living in Cherryville longer than you think, so MAKE FRIENDS!

5. You are Smart! You are a slacker right now and do the bare minimum to get by because no one really pushes you to do it. Work hard! You don't think you are that smart because you don't make an effort. Free education is a gift so use it wisely.

6. Change your major! You love college and you value learning once you start paying for it yourself, but Please pick a major that is actually useful. Film studies sounds fun, but its actually not a very fun career. At least do something that will be a little more useful in your life like interior design or theology.

7. Show a lil more skin. Hey you are 5'8 and 118lbs. You will never be that skinny again! Show it off while you still can.
8. You CAN listen to secular music! God doesn't care if you listen to it as long as it doesn't make you act on it. So don't feel guilty about that and don't guilt trip your sweet lil boyfriend Randall about listening to it too.

9. Randall is the "one"! So be nicer to him, he has put up with a lot from you!

10. Change your oil. Your car breaks down senior year because you weren't taking care of it properly so save yourself a lot of headache with bumming rides and take care of your car more!

Monday, April 23, 2012

30 BLoGs in 30 DaYs Day 3. Describe Relationship with Parents

Day 3. Describe your Relationship with Parents

This is a tough one! I am 26 now, so my relationship with my parents have become farther and fewer moments right now! Kind of a sad thing but I'm sure when Randall and I have our first lil one my mom will be right by my side or she better be at least because I am gonna need help!

My Mom

I love my mom. She is so beautiful to me, I want to look like her when I am her age. She doesn't know she is beautiful though and shruggs it off when I tell her. She insist on acting like she is 65 but I literally have friends her age! (She is only 43!) She sees everything from a 65 year olds point of view and for that we butt heads on a good number of issues. She is all about the Church of God being the only church she has faith in nowadays, and so we don't get on a lot of issues about politics or religion. Actually when she does put her 2 cents in about these issues they are so far and irrelevant from me that it is almost comical.

My mother had me when she was 18! She had to grow up very fast and for that I have the upmost respect for her. She did a really good job, I never went without much and she made sure we were in church 3 times a week no excuses! I am actually very thankful for that, I became a dedicated Christian at the age of 13 and really developed a lot of knowledge about the Word. And she was strict!! I was a pretty good teenager so she was less strict on me than my sister.

But anyways to the point, our relationship is good nowadays. My mom gives me enough space (a lil more than I would like) but when we do finally get to see each other, we laugh and talk and gossip very easily. I look up to her and whenever I am making a big decision in my life, if I have her blessing, I feel at ease about it. She has a lot of wisdom when it comes to living life and I still have a lot to learn from her.

My Dad

I really don't even know where to start with this one. Especially this past year I have had such mixed emotions toward him. If it weren't for my Faith, I don't even know if we would have a relationship right now. My dad has definetly wrestled a lot of his own demons, and more times than once he lost to them. He and my mom had a tumultuous on and off again relationship till I was 7. From as long as I could remember he had a drinking and drug problem. From 7 to 9 I really don't remember he at all in my life. I think he was running from child support or something but for some reason, he was not there. When I was 9 he met my step mom and they packed up and moved to PA. and still lived there today. I had hard feelings toward him till I was 13.

When I gave my heart to the Lord, I really felt lead to forgive my father though. It was a very hard thing to do for me but I don't think that I could ever get to a good spiritual level with God unless I had done so. There is sooo much power in Forgiving someone. I don't know how to explain it but I still remember the night I decided to do that and it was like there was a weight lifted off my shoulders.

After that, I made it a point to have a relationship with him. I love my dad and at the end of the day even if he does the most idiotic thing there is, then I still love him because that is what family does. He does make up half my DNA and a lot of personality traits must come from him. I still make it a point to go see him every summer and we get in deep descussions a lot, even more so than I have with my mom. My dad doesn't believe in anything, I don't think he has actually took the time to find God, but I hope that my unconditional love I have for him mirrors just a shadow of the love that God has for him and he sees it one day. Until then I will call him ever so often and visit him.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

3o BLoGs in 30 DaYs/day 2: 3 legitimate fears

3 Legitimate Fears

If you know me pretty well then you know of at least 2 of these legitimate fears. And just to warn you the second one is pretty gruesome.

Snakes being my probably ultimate physical one. It's the one fear that will make me scream like a little girl if I see one. I don't know how people can keep snakes for pets or even pick them up. Everything about them gives me the heebe geebes. If I am doing an outdoor activity and someone sees a snake, I am pretty much done with being outdoors for the day. Hopefully I can just quit worrying about them so much one day but for now snakes pretty much sum up my greatest physical fear.

Second is vomit. There is an actual name for this phobia it is Emetophobia, and it's pretty common. I rarely have to vomit but when I do it is drama!! lol, if I feel that wave of nausea coming on, I will sit in a fetal position and not move practically all night if I have to, just to keep myself from doing it. I think I developed this phobia when I was about 5 years old. I was at my baby sitter's house and was sick with chicken pox. They were giving me children's grape tylenol pills to help the fever and I loved them! So when my babysitter wasn't looking I got into the bottle and ate ALL the pills! My babysitter was freaking out and called my mom, and my mom said to stick her finger down my throat and make me vomit them out. I won't go into details but needless to say it was pretty traumatizing and now I despise throwing up.
Also, if someone else is vomiting or if there is vomit in a room, I will try and get as far as I possibly can from that stuff.
Cleaning up kids from throwing up all night is one thing I am dreading about being a mother one day, but my little doggie, Sammie, is helping me with that one. One day, I came home early from work and he had thrown up 8 different piles!! On the couch too!! I called Randall asking if he could come home early but when I realized that wasn't going to happen, I picked it up all by myself! I felt really accomplished that day!

And lastly, losing Randall in a freak accident is my last fear. This fear is a little harder to write about and sits quite close to home for me. Randall has practically been around almost half my life and really the only constant male in it. He is my comfort! It is the one fear that makes me sit and worry and naws at me. Of course, I'm scared of losing my other close friends and family, as well, but I really would be a wreck if anything ever happened to my husband. I am pretty depend on him, probably a little more than I should be. I think this fear was developed when I was 15 and I seen my older sister's serious boyfriend get in a car wreck and pass away. I was dating Randall at the time, it really gave me some issues. I was scared to get close to Randall for a while after that for fear that could happen to him and I would lose it. I am so grateful that fear did not keep me from letting him in my life and loving him wholeheartedly though.

I am not a fearful person and these fears are pretty small compared to a lot of people's fears and I am grateful for that. I know that even if these fears come up, they are not the end of the world and even if the worst of my fears came to pass (#3) I still have Faith that life goes on and the Lord takes care of me. So there you go my 3 LITTLE legitimate fears.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

30 BLoGs in 30 DaYs Day 1. 20 random facts

I think I will help myself to this little 30 day challenge because I really should quit being lazy and blog more. I feel like my opinions are WAY to important not to share. Well maybe just important to me but none the less. Also when we have kiddos in a couple of years, I would like to be in the habit and log things about their lives in blogs so I won't forget them and they can look back and read them.

The first day of this 3o day blog stuff is to list 20 random fact about yourself, so I'm going to name the first 20 things that come to mind.

1. I have 2 big pet peeves. When people smack their food and (thanks to Randall doing this obsessively) when they bite their nails.

2. I am an introvert. I actually love socializing with people at work and friends on the weekends but I HAVE to have my ME time where I just by myself enjoying a book or reading something on my computer.

3. I am not scared of change at all in my life. I moved around to nine different schools growing up and change is something that comes very natural to me now. Actually I don't know what I would do if my life was at a stand still. I think I would go crazy.

4. I am care-free. Which can be a disadvantage too. My husband does all the worrying for the both of us but I really just trust in God with everything and think everything will work out for the best in life.

5. I have only had one true love. And I married Him!! I have never had my heart broke and I feel like that is the way dating should be. If someone is not EVERYTHING you want in a spouse, get rid of them before someone gets hurt.

6. I am an anomaly (my new fav word!). It means something of a deviation from the common rule or form. I feel I am on an island with some of the things I believe from other Christians and feel other people don't really know what to classify me as sometimes.

7. I absolutely love Jesus. I am so head over heels in love with my Lord! This relationship is my best one yet, and it saddens me sometimes that people can't feel the happiness and peace that just comes with trusting something with all your heart and surrendering everything to Faith. It is the best feeling in the world and I wouldn't trade this Love for anything. It literally sets me FREE.

8. I don't care what people think. I really feel I'm a natural born leader (I am a Leo) and if I believe something is wrong or someone is mistreated I will say something. I may not be very confrontational but I have been known to send letters to people if they confuse or hurt me.

9. It really bugs me when people are all about brand name stuff. Who cares? I would never buy something for myself or ask someone to buy me something just because it has a label on it. I get wanting nice quality shoes or things that you plan on wearing a long time but really people? There are people wondering where their next meal is going to come from, in this world. Get your head out of your own A$$.

10. I still have childhood friends from youth group. I don't get to see these ppl as much but I love them and no one could ever replace them. I hope they feel the same way about me. But these ppl know me inside and out and no one knows you like your oldest friends.

11. I think family is very important. My maw-maw died almost 5 years ago and our fam hasn't been the same since. She was the anchor to keeping everyone together. I never get to see my cousins and relatives anymore like I used to and that makes me sad. One of the reasons I want a bigger house is so I can start inviting everyone over to get together again.

12. I am obsessed with caffeine. It just makes me really happy.

13. I love my body. It is not perfect and doesn't look like the ones in the magazines but its the one God gave me and for that, I will appreciate it and have made peace with it.

14. I love exercising. It really helps me to love my body. When I'm taking care of my body and eating right I feel like I'm doing the right thing and therefore that makes me feel comfortable in my own skin.

15. I am sensitive. I will put on a strong face for people, but if someone hurt my feelings I won't show it but I might go home and cry about it.

16. I love Goodwill. I get a high from finding really cute stuff at very low prices. My whole house is decorated with used stuff.

17. I love cooking. Mostly because I love to eat healthy so I cook a lot. And will rarely cook the same thing.

18. I love learning. Education is very important to me and if I had money I would go back to college and get a degree, but I like not being in debt even more so I will just stick with the hair thing.

19. I love being a wife. I love keeping my house and decorating and greeting my husband at the door when he comes home. I am very fortunate to work part time so I can keep up with this job too.

20. I love encouraging people. I think that is my spiritual gift. I love helping ppl feel good on the job and reassuring ppl that they are important in life.