Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Marriage....No political stances here!

Instead of doing day 10: Describe your most embarrassing moment, I can't even remember a really embarrassing one that stands out totally.  I've had too many to mention.  So today in light of the controversy in all this marriage talk, I decided to do one on what marriage means to me.

I am not here to voice what I think is right or wrong, justice or injustice, or try to make people inferior because they think differently than I do.  I just want to say how important marriage is in my life.

In case you are wondering, I did not vote today.  I am really torn about what to vote for.  I can really see both issues, Jesus did say Marriage is between a man and woman but I also believe in separation of church and state.  Although  I take my marriage vows very very seriously I don't believe, I have the right to tell anyone who they can marry, thank goodness people didn't do that to me!  And quite frankly, I'm tired of all the judging going on, on both sides, and didn't want to be judged myself.  People thinking you are not Christian enough or don't believe the bible enough if you vote one way, and people thinking people are prejudiced bigots or close minded for having strong biblical views influence their politics.  Enough of all that talk but yea if you see my mom don't tell her I didn't vote, I think she will be crushed to learn that I didn't share her same very conservative views on this issue.

But what I really think is people are having such a hard time defining what marriage is lately that when something comes up like this we jump all over it to show that we are right and our marriage is of God and etc. but what has marriage come to when it comes to the Christian belief?  Have we made it about, God or about ourselves?  Do we get married because that is what you do in life after a certain age or because of the random circumstances that our lives have come to, that thats just the next step in to do in a serious relationship.  And another thing, why do men drag their feet? I think us women make it way too easy on men these days.  We giving all the milk away without selling the cow (yes I said it).  And then we are stuck wondering if they are even thinking about it.  There use to be a time when men would fall head over heels for women and would do anything to put a ring on their finger fast before other men got to them.  But I'm gonna have to save all that for another blog on dating the Christian way.

I am quite an old fashion girl when it comes to love and marriage.  I believe in the whirlwind of romance but I also believe in approaching marriage very, very cautiously.  I dated Randall for nine years before we got married, and I was still very nervous and scared to do it.  I felt that when I stood up before God and people and gave a vow for better or worse, sickness and health, till death do us part, it was a promise made, and I did not want to go back on my word.  Meaning what you say is very important to me because if people can't take you at your word, what else do they have to go by.

Now I know people change and it takes two to work on a marriage, so I am not downing anyone who has been divorced.  I just want people to not get lazy and get out of it when the going gets tough.  I just read a book, "The Vow" and in this book a couple gets in a car wreck and the lady has a serious brain injury and has to slowly learn everything she was taught again.(It is nothing like the movie) She is a lot different than before and doesn't know who her husband is.  She did not love him or treat him fairly and would revert to a bratty teenager at times saying things like "I hate you, leave me alone."  But he stuck by her and they put their marriage in God's hands.  At one point, he even said he was going to get her back to where she can live on her own but then he was going to let her decide if she still wanted to be with him.     The divorce rate for brain injuries is 80-90% and even good meaning people were asking him why he didn't just get divorced.

The girl had not forgotten her faith in Jesus so she knew she wanted the marriage to work because she believed in marriage and they put God in the center of it and they pulled through together.  They eventually had a second wedding so she could remember one and later on had two kids.  But through this trial they touched people world wide by just staying married in such a hard time when the greater option was divorce.  I was really touched by this story and it strengthened my own faith in marriage as well.

But I guess the point in all this is to just take marriage seriously people.  I'm not going to tell you who you can and can't marry.  I will tell you that it won't work and you won't be happy unless you put God first and read the bible on how to love your spouse, like Christ and the church.  If you are not willing to grow in God and have your marriage based on it then I would advise against it.  But done correctly it can be one of the most cherishing, beautiful things that can bring glory to God.

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